• Corinne

IT’S OKAY TO BE SCARED SOMETIMES

WHEN I WAS IN THE BEGINNING OF MY RECOVERY, THE CONCEPT OF FAILURE SHOOK MY VERY CORE. WHAT IF I TRY TO RECOVER AND FAIL? WHAT IF I DISAPPOINT MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY? WHAT IF I EAT AND GAIN A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF WEIGHT… FROM ONE MEAL… OR ONE DAY? I WAS TORMENTED BY THE IRRATIONAL WHISPERS OF THESE THOUGHTS. IF I FAILED, WOULD IT MEAN I WAS A FAILURE? THE ANSWER IS NO. THERE ARE GOING TO BE DAYS YOU FEEL STRONGER AND DAYS THAT YOU STRUGGLE. NOTHING IN LIFE IS STAYS THE SAME. THESE IRRATIONAL FEARS CONSTRUCTED MY NARRATIVE, BUT ONE DAY I WAS READY TO PROVE MY “MONSTER” WRONG. I BEGAN TO CHALLENGE THESE FEARS ONE AT A TIME AND DISCOVERED THAT EVERY STEP WASN’T AS SCARY AS MY “MONSTER” MADE IT OUT TO BE. WITH EACH STEP, I LISTENED TO MY FEARS, LEARNED ABOUT THEM AND OVERCAME THESE DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS THAT SEEMED TO RUN MY LIFE.  IT’S OKAY TO BE SCARED SOMETIMES. FEAR IS THE PART OF YOUR BRAIN THAT TRIES TO KEEP YOU SAFE. SOMETIMES THIS HAPPENS IN AN IRRATIONAL WAY- LIKE THE FEAR THAT TELLS YOU IF YOU EAT A HEALTHY PORTION OF FOOD, YOU’RE GOING TO GAIN A BUNCH OF WEIGHT. THESE VOICES ARE DISTRACTING YOU FROM THE REAL ISSUES THAT NEED ATTENTION. WHAT IS UNDERNEATH THIS FEAR? IF YOUR FEARS HOLD YOU BACK FROM ACCOMPLISHING YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS IT MIGHT MEAN THERE IS SOMETHING IN YOUR LIFE THAT NEEDS ATTENTION. EACH OF US HARBORS AN “INNER VOICE” THAT NIPS AT OUR WEAKNESSES AND SEEKS TO CHISEL AWAY OUR CONFIDENCE. BUT WHAT IF WE DID SOMETHING DIFFERENT? WHAT IF WE LEARNED MORE ABOUT IT SO WE COULD FACE OUR FEARS HEAD ON?  WHEN I THINK OF CONQUERING FEAR, I THINK OF BRAVERY. WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN TO BE BRAVE? I THINK MORGAN HARPER NICHOLAS CAPTURES IT PERFECTLY - “BRAVERY IS THE AUDACITY TO BE UNHINDERED BY FAILURES, AND TO WALK WITH FREEDOM, STRENGTH, AND HOPE, IN THE FACE OF THINGS UNKNOWN.” WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE IF WE STARED THE UNKNOWN IN THE FACE AND SAID, “NOT TODAY!” I WILL NOT BE HELD BACK BY MY FEAR. IF YOU DO NOT TRY, YOU ARE GUARANTEED TO FAIL. AT LEAST IF YOU TRY YOU HAVE A 50/50 CHANCE AT SUCCESS. IF MY SUCCESS IS NOT LINEAR, THAT IS OK TOO. FAILURE IS ONLY PERMANENT IF YOU ALLOW IT TO BE. YOU’VE MADE IT THIS FAR… WHATEVER YOUR MONSTER IS, DON’T LET IT TAKE AWAY YOUR DREAMS OF TOMORROW. WHAT WOULD IT MEAN FOR YOU TO BE BRAVE AND GET TO KNOW YOUR FEARS? YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALONE, I CAN HELP YOU.

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