I love the holidays. From early September through January 1st, the world seems to light up with joy, adventure, and an undeniable holiday cheer. For many, it's a time filled with happiness, warmth, and celebration. But, as with many things in life, the joys of the holidays can sometimes be taken for granted.
For others, the holiday season can be more complex and challenging. It can be a painful time, triggering emotions associated with loss, stress, or recovery. Whether it’s grieving the loss of a loved one, navigating the difficulties of substance abuse recovery, or grappling with financial strain, the holidays can feel overwhelming. For me, personally, the holidays meant battling my eating disorder, adding layers of anxiety and fear to what others saw as a season of celebration.
When the Holidays Feel Overwhelming
During my recovery, I struggled with the holidays. Surrounded by family, friends, and food, I felt the pressure to experience the same joy others were enjoying. But when you're in survival mode, simply getting through the day can feel like an impossible task.
Fortunately, I had a strong support system of friends and family who stood by me, even when they didn’t know exactly how to help. They were eager to offer comfort and understanding, even when they were unsure of what to do or say.
Here are a few important reminders to keep in mind if you're supporting a loved one through difficult times this holiday season:
1. Be Patient
Understand that your loved one isn’t intentionally trying to frustrate or upset you. The struggles they are facing are tied to their illness, not who they are as a person. Try to practice patience, take a breath, and put yourself in their shoes.
2. Just Ask
It’s okay if you don’t know the right thing to say or do. Sometimes, the best way to support someone is simply by asking, "How can I help?" or "What do you need?" Even just saying "I hear you" can provide comfort.
3. Take Care of Yourself
Supporting someone who is struggling can be emotionally draining. Make sure you also practice self-care and remember that it's okay not to get everything right all the time.
For Those Who Are Struggling
If you're finding the holidays difficult, please know that you're not alone. Many people face similar struggles, and it’s okay to feel the way you do. Here are a few tips that might help you navigate the season:
1. It’s Okay Not to Be Okay
You don’t have to force yourself to be happy just because everyone around you seems to be. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you're feeling, without the pressure to put on a mask.
2. Find Your Safe Space
It’s important to have a place where you can retreat and recharge. Find a spot that feels safe and comforting, and take time to refill your self-care reserves when needed.
3. Remove Yourself if Necessary
If you find yourself in a situation that feels overwhelming or triggering, it’s okay to step away. Your feelings are valid, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
4. Create a Personal Mantra
In moments of stress, having a simple mantra can help ground you. Whether it’s “I am brave” or “I am enough,” these phrases can help reinforce your strength when you need it most.
A Simple Reminder of Kindness
If there’s one takeaway from this, it’s to remember the power of kindness. Many people are fighting battles you may never see. A small act of kindness can make a big difference in someone’s day. If someone seems to be struggling, try to empathize and extend understanding rather than judgment.
For those of you who are finding the holiday season tough, please know that your feelings are valid. You are not alone, and you don’t need to be perfect. Surround yourself with people who support you, and remember that you are worthy of love and care, just as you are.
Wishing you peace and comfort this holiday season. Happy holidays!
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